Lately, I have been working with a few clients who have lost someone because of a death. Death of a spouse is one of the biggest causes of stress that an individual will ever go through. I am honored to be able to help my clients through such a devastating situation. One of the people I look to for helping clients is Dr. John Demartini and his wealth of experience and life changing books. His book ‘The Breakthrough Experience’ is a valuable text for anyone going through a loss. One of his key teachings is to always view a situation through a balanced perspective. Life is up and down and we really can’t be happy 100% of the time. If we realize that and see the gift in every negative situation that comes our way that can be invaluable. Death of a spouse is not so easily seen as a gift however and only in hindsight after a given amount of time has passed can one start to heal and gain perspective. Loss is difficult and takes time to process. When you love someone with all of your heart you FEEL it when they are gone. I tackle loss with clients with two techniques- Emotional Freedom Technique and some of Dr. Demartini’s work.

I have blogged about Emotional Freedom Technique before so I won’t go into detail about it. It is a tapping technique that works on the Chinese meridians in the body to unblock energy disturbances especially of an emotional nature. It helps people to be able to access their emotions and release them in a way that is soothing and balancing to their nervous system. The tapping is paired with positive affirmations that help the individual open up to more self love and self acceptance. I will tap on the person while they talk about all the things they miss about the person. This process makes the grief more bearable and by the release of some of the emotion tapped into, makes the person feel lighter and more accepting of what has happened.

John Demartini talks about balancing perspectives so I always ask the person what they won’t miss about the person they lost. I ask them, in fact, to make a list of many things that they won’t miss about the person. If you can come up with as many things that you won’t miss about the person as the things you miss about the person, you are on the right track.

Demartini also says that energy is not lost rather it changes form. He says that the qualities that you miss about the person that you have lost will show up in your environment in a different form. It is important that you realize that and look for them in your environment now. Are those qualities that you miss in your lost partner showing up in the new neighbor that moved in across the street? Look for where those qualities are now and you will realize that the universe is benevolent and wants you to be happy despite your loss. What friends are taking up those qualities that you have lost and are blessing you in new ways?

Lastly, when we lose someone, they are just across the veil. They may not exist in human form anymore but they still exist in spirit and with an open mind, you may still be able to connect with them. Open all your senses up to be able to connect with them. Do you see anything that reminds you of them? Do you hear a song on the radio that they liked? Can you feel them around you? Ask your loved one to show up in a way that you will recognize. Is there a symbol or an animal that was associated with this person and does that symbol or animal show up from time to time? Know that if you feel in your gut that they are connecting to you, they are! The most important thing is to believe that you are still connected to them and that you will always be. Please don’t hesitate to come in for an appointment if you are dealing with loss. I would be honored to help you get through it.

 

I just read “The Fear Cure” by Lissa Rankin. It is a decent book on the topic of addressing fear in your own life and cultivating courage in the face of those fears. There is so much fear in our culture; just turn on the news for a moment or read the headlines in your daily paper- the economy is down and heading into a recession, the destructive path of the wild fires burning across Canada are threatening homes and people’s lives, volcanoes are erupting, more people are being diagnosed with cancer, our homeland security is being threatened, and on and on and on.  The media thrives on fear and takes a rather fear based stance on many issues.  Certainly I have felt a lot of fear in my own life and feel the weight of old beliefs surface from time to time that have been based in fear based programming and family upbringing to some degree. I discuss these issues in my book “Living in Alignment-Embracing Illness as a Catalyst for Transformation” if the things I touch on resonate with you on reading this blog or please purchase Lissa’s book for more courage cultivating exercises to assist you in dealing with fear in your life.

Right now, we are being called to live authentically, to find a way to align mind/body/spirit in a way that is congruent for our personal selves. When fear and overwhelm show up for me, I always look for limiting beliefs that I carry within me and what could be blocking my evolution on a soul level? How can I challenge those fear based beliefs and move forward on my path?  In her book, Lissa talks about four fear based assumptions and I think she is right on the mark- I definitely resonate with some of them and I expect you would too. A belief that the world is a dangerous place which is one that I have definitely felt to some degree which is actively supported by the media’s stance on reporting the news as mentioned. If you don’t sense that there is a larger force protecting you from harm then fear can run rampant. Not too long ago, my car was totaled in an accident- it shocked and scared me to my core. But I also felt a sense of calmness come over me knowing that I was in fact looked after; I was not hurt at all but my car was a write off.I often look for the meaning in events and that is where your attention to your soul can be a guiding force. I sensed this accident was meant to get my attention and look at my life with a microscope to see what is feeling congruent and what is not and I am actively on a path of self alignment as a result.

I read somewhere in a Pathwork lecture online (which I find to be incredibly helpful if you are on a spiritual path and are looking for guidance) that fear automatically comes from desires of the self will. That if the self will desires something really strongly and those desires are contradictory to other currents within you; that you have a deeper being within you that knows what is right for you, then fear will show up. This is the most helpful truth for me. The self will or my own personal desires to self gratification can be strong-it is much easier to do things that feel good and sometimes choosing the path that brings me further in my evolution feels too challenging for me. I can feel scared. In a limiting way, I can claim I am weary from my soul path-it feels overwhelming when I am not tapped into the vital energy of consciousness or God self of my being. When I am feeling more connected to my soul energy, I am more open to taking risks and challenging my fears.

Cultivating courage to make changes first requires that you get in touch with your soul. If you are feeling fearful you need to go “deeper”; perhaps to a well of life giving water metaphorically, something that represents a reservoir of faith and trust for you… It is a necessity to nurture and develop a soul connection in your life. Being connected to your soul helps you make better decisions and helps you release fear as you begin to trust in a higher power that wants to guide you in your life.  It does not have to be a religious based orientation or it can be if that feels right to you. I recently started attending a church based singles group because I was seeking out some support that felt right for me. If you listen to your intuition about what support you need, it will come forward for you in your life. If you have negative views on religion and like to talk about guidance from angels or the universe, it does not matter, there is always support from the spiritual realms no matter what you label it as. Make sure you make the time to do the things that help you get in touch with your soul- for me meditation, yoga, walking, being in nature, music, and reading spiritual books are practices I need to do on an ongoing basis.

I accept that fear and worry show up pretty much on a daily basis for me but aligning with the God presence within me or my soul essence trumps any fear that tries to blanket and oppress my existence. Realize that you matter, that there is a purpose for your life, that you can let the light shine through your eyes to bless other people, that you have much wisdom to impart and above all, that you are loved. A useful exercise for you to do in the meantime: take a microscope to all your beliefs about life and ask yourself if they are health promoting or fear promoting and if they are in fact limiting your joy and happiness. This is an ongoing process- please book an appointment with me to discuss these things if this is new information for you. Until next time, be well. I will write more about this journey in ongoing blogs.

References: Lissa Rankin The Fear Cure, Pathwork lectures Eva Pierrakos, Robin Vinge Living in Alignment-Embracing Illness as a Catalyst for Transformation

It is the beginning of July and most people are in ‘summer mode’. This means drinks on the patio, barbecues, stampede wear, and outdoor concerts for some; typically healing is the last thing people are thinking of. People’s desire to cut loose and have fun is a great way to infuse enthusiasm back into their life- everyone needs a daily dose of joy to bring more life force energy into your mind/body/spirit. But, don’t forget about your health despite the liaise-faire attitude. Implementing some discipline and keeping your eye on the prize (better health) allow you to move forward with your health goals while taking the edge off your intensity so it does not feel like another day at the office.

Discipline is the key to success so start by reviewing what you want to achieve and can stay consistent with on a daily basis. It might be something as simple as drinking enough water so your urine is clear versus cloudy. It might be taking a weekly trip to the farmer’s market and loading up on fresh veggies. It might be growing greens in your back yard so you have a variety, to choose from when you make your green smoothie in the morning. Ask yourself what can I be consistent with on a daily basis? If you do some consistent meditation in the am (10 mins- set an egg timer and breathe) you might be more in touch with what it is you need to do to stay disciplined and committed to your health goals. Ask your higher self (your inner wisdom) what would be something you can choose to do on a daily basis consistently to improve your health? Your inner voice knows- the answer might come to you when you least expect it.

Many people come to see me for a consult but I often here how they are not sure that they can stick with the dietary changes consistently. Break it down. Remind yourself why you are wanting your health to improve. Remind yourself why are wanting to make changes. What do you want your end result to be? This is very individual- it might be more energy, more clarity, weight loss, a healthier diet, reduced risk of disease, consistent remission (if you have an autoimmune disease), more consistent poops, reduced anxiety, better sleep, etc, etc, etc. What are you most wanting to achieve? Typically it takes 21 days to form a habit so try to choose one thing to start with that you really want to stay committed to and implement your discipline and will to make it happen. You can do it!!

The tendency to self sabotage is built into our human DNA. However if you keep your health goals close to your heart and engage that side of your DNA, your chances for success are much higher. Take a look at and draw upon the self care part of your nature to improve the likelihood of goals realized; in short-draw from your heart center. How can you love yourself more? By making these healthy changes in your life, is that not an act of self love? It is easy to sabotage yourself when you do not love yourself. Loving yourself means making choices that are in alignment to you whether it be healthy food choices, self respect, honoring yourself and others in relationships that you choose to engage in, implementing behaviors that are conducive to your good health (good sleep hygiene for example), being as congruent as you can in mind, body, spirit; all these things mean a healthy dose of self love which allows for transformative healing.