Lately, I have been working with a few clients who have lost someone because of a death. Death of a spouse is one of the biggest causes of stress that an individual with ever go through. I am honored to be able to help my clients through such a devastating situation. One of the people I look to for helping clients is Dr. John Demartini and his wealth of experience and life changing books. His book ‘The Breakthrough Experience’ is a valuable text for anyone going through a loss. One of his key teachings is to always view a situation through a balanced perspective. Life is up and down and we really can’t be happy 100% of the time. If we realize that and see the gift in every negative situation that comes our way that can be invaluable. Death of a spouse is not so easily seen as a gift however and only in hindsight after a given amount of time has passed can one start to heal and gain perspective. Loss is difficult and takes time to process. When you love someone with all of your heart you FEEL it when they are gone. I tackle loss with clients with two techniques- Emotional Freedom Technique and some of Dr. Demartini’s work.
I have blogged about Emotional Freedom Technique before so I won’t go into detail about it. It is a tapping technique that works on the chinese meridians in the body to unblock energy disturbances especially of an emotional nature. It helps people to be able to access their emotions and release them in a way that is soothing and balancing to their nervous system. The tapping is paired with positive affirmations that help the individual open up to more self love and self acceptance. I will tap on the person while they talk about all the things they miss about the person. This process makes the grief more bearable and by the release of some of the emotion tapped into, makes the person feel lighter and more accepting of what has happened.
John Demartini talks about balancing perspectives so I always ask the person what they won’t miss about the person they lost. I ask them, in fact, to make a list of many things that they won’t miss about the person. If you can come up with as many things that you won’t miss about the person as the things you miss about the person, you are on the right track.
Demartini also says that energy is not lost rather it changes form. He says that the qualities that you miss about the person that you have lost will show up in your environment in a different form. It is important that you realize that and look for them in your environment now. Are those qualities that you miss in your lost partner showing up in the new neighbor that moved in across the street? Look for where those qualities are now and you will realize that the universe is benevolent and wants you to be happy despite your loss. What friends are taking up those qualities that you have lost and are blessing you in new ways?
Lastly, when we lose someone, they are just across the veil. They may not exist in human form anymore but they still exist in spirit and with an open mind, you may still be able to connect with them. Open all your senses up to be able to connect with them. Do you see anything that reminds you of them? Do you hear a song on the radio that they liked? Can you feel them around you? Ask your loved one to show up in a way that you will recognize. Is there a symbol or an animal that was associated with this person and does that symbol or animal show up from time to time? Know that if you feel in your gut that they are connecting to you, they are! The most important thing is to believe that you are still connected to them and that you will always be. Please don’t hesitate to come in for an appointment if you are dealing with loss. I would be honored to help you get through it.