I had a great long weekend. It wasn’t as sunny as it was supposed to be but it was spent in the comfort of my partner’s house listening to the rain falling on the roof with a crackling fire in the fireplace; the predominant feeling that I am left with is I am grateful for the love. I am grateful for the love of my partner. I am grateful for all the people that I have come to know in Bragg Creek who are so kind to me. I am grateful for the people that work at the stores that I grocery shop at that acknowledge me. I am grateful for my friend that I walk with on the weekends. If I really think about the people that I am grateful for, it regularly brings tears of joy to my eyes. I look back over my life and the only thing I regret is that I did not always have an open heart to the people around me. I was self absorbed for a majority of my life. So now I go to the opposite pole. I tell people how much I love them and do that as often as I can. At the end of your life what means most to you are all the people in it not the successes in your working life or your personal accomplishments. What means the most to me are the heart connections in my life. I want to foster more and nurture more heart connections in my life. Then I will be truly living at a level that I can be satisfied with. I will be a cup that is overflowing…I am grateful for the love…
Being the best that you can be is likely what everyone strives for. It is good to take stock, from time to time, where you are at in your life’s path; are you on track or off track and how do you get in the flow of your life. Ask yourself that question and see what the answer is. Life requires that you be the best that you can be in every moment. Take stock of where you are off track in your life and take an action step to make it better. And most importantly, be consistent. Consistency is key in whatever arena you are working in. I have to bring myself back to this point all the time because my interests vary and I can easily get off track. Start your day off by writing all the things down that you need to accomplish in your day and then factor in critical steps that you require to keep yourself in balance with regards to your health. You have to be consistent with your self care to make your day run more smoothly. That is a must so decide that those things are non- negotiable for your health. What do you need to do to stay on track with your diet each day? What are the non-negotiables with regards to your diet? No to a donut and coffee perhaps and yes to a hot homemade cereal with berries and raw nuts like walnuts. This simple decision can have a major effect on how your energy is, how your mood is, and how productive you are. Coffee has some health benefits and it is most people’s morning ritual so I don’t usually interfere with it…If you feel that coffee is only used to increase your energy in the morning then you might want to look at more strategies to get energized. Cut down on sugar and refined carbohydrates (read flour). Choose more whole grains instead to maximize energy. Consider an adrenal supportive product like rhodiola or ashwagandha to help increase your resistance to stress. Take time in your day to breathe. When you feel your stress levels rising, take five minutes to breathe. Take 10 deep breaths daily. This will help oxygenate your body and help promote the parasympathetic nervous system which is all about relaxation. Take time in your day to exercise. Even 30 minutes spent walking daily is good for your heart, helps improve blood sugar control and reduces stress. Lastly bring a good attitude into your day. See the value in the people that are around you. Let them know that you value them. Come from a place of love versus an angry or critical stance. Think about these things before you start your day and choose to bring a positive attitude into your day. This will help you be the best that you can be.
We all have a mask self. This is the mask we wear in our daily lives to make us feel less vulnerable.It’s the front we project into the outside world to make us feel safe. There are many different masks that we can wear.
Is your mask apparent perfection? Do you march through life doing all the right things, holding down the perfect job, the perfect family, the perfect life? Are you ever real or do you just do everything on autopilot? Do you do the dance of perfection, not really enjoying your life? Do you follow the script that brings you the most respect and admiration, but that lacks any genuine connection or joy? Do people stop wanting to be your friend because there is never anything wrong in your life, there is never anything that can’t be whited out by your magic pen?
Is your mask your charm? Are you able to play the charisma card, people love to be in your company, hang on every witty word and are fascinated by your stories? You perform, you have an audience at all times who adores your manufactured persona? Does your ego love the attention? Do you sometimes wish that you didn’t have to entertain everybody? Occasionally, someone in your audience doesn’t find you funny; they can spot the fraud. They aren’t charmed by you. In fact, they can see right through your phony persona. They are not laughing. They are instead, trying to figure out why you have created this mask.
Do you play your cards close to your chest? Does anyone really know who you are, what you think, what your opinions are, your wants, your desires or your dreams? Or are you purposely evasive; an enigma where you would prefer other people to create stories about you. If they know nothing about you, they can’t see your state of vulnerability; they can’t see how it is that they can really annihilate you. They wonder about you…they wonder what you do with your time; what you think about; what you are up to in your private little world. They are fascinated by the mystery that you create, when in fact, there is really no mystery; the joke is on them. There is nothing but emptiness; a script waiting to be written. This person does not know how to engage in life. They would rather watch life from the sidelines because they are so afraid of making a mistake that they would rather not participate at all. These individuals are likely products of fearful parenting, parents that were also cut off from their core essence. So, you hold everything close to your chest. You don’t really participate in life. You don’t feel the joy like others do. It feels as if it is cut off from you, not available to you. The original goal in this case is the same as with the other masks; the goal is to preserve the safety of the self.
Is your mask the achiever? Do you revel in the love and attention you get from achieving? Do you like that people look up to you for what you have achieved? Do you get love for the achieving self but secretly long to be loved for the non achieving self? Do you wear the mask of the giver? Do you always give of yourself; make yourself valuable, indisposable in order to be loved?
Whatever mask you wear is worn in order to make you appear less vulnerable and garner you more love. The challenge is to take off the mask that you wear and allow yourself to be authentic. Allow yourself to be real in every moment that you find yourself in. Take off your mask and connect at the heart level with other people. I dare you…