We all have a mask self. This is the mask we wear in our daily lives to make us feel less vulnerable.It’s the front we project into the outside world to make us feel safe. There are many different masks that we can wear.

Is your mask apparent perfection? Do you march through life doing all the right things, holding down the perfect job, the perfect family, the perfect life? Are you ever real or do you just do everything on autopilot? Do you do the dance of perfection, not really enjoying your life? Do you follow the script that brings you the most respect and admiration, but that lacks any genuine connection or joy? Do people stop wanting to be your friend because there is never anything wrong in your life, there is never anything that can’t be whited out by your magic pen?
Is your mask your charm? Are you able to play the charisma card, people love to be in your company, hang on every witty word and are fascinated by your stories? You perform, you have an audience at all times who adores your manufactured persona? Does your ego love the attention? Do you sometimes wish that you didn’t have to entertain everybody? Occasionally, someone in your audience doesn’t find you funny; they can spot the fraud. They aren’t charmed by you. In fact, they can see right through your phony persona. They are not laughing. They are instead, trying to figure out why you have created this mask.

Do you play your cards close to your chest? Does anyone really know who you are, what you think, what your opinions are, your wants, your desires or your dreams? Or are you purposely evasive; an enigma where you would prefer other people to create stories about you. If they know nothing about you, they can’t see your state of vulnerability; they can’t see how it is that they can really annihilate you. They wonder about you…they wonder what you do with your time; what you think about; what you are up to in your private little world. They are fascinated by the mystery that you create, when in fact, there is really no mystery; the joke is on them. There is nothing but emptiness; a script waiting to be written. This person does not know how to engage in life. They would rather watch life from the sidelines because they are so afraid of making a mistake that they would rather not participate at all. These individuals are likely products of fearful parenting, parents that were also cut off from their core essence.  So, you hold everything close to your chest. You don’t really participate in life. You don’t feel the joy like others do. It feels as if it is cut off from you, not available to you. The original goal in this case is the same as with the other masks; the goal is to preserve the safety of the self.

Is your mask the achiever? Do you revel in the love and attention you get from achieving? Do you like that people look up to you for what you have achieved? Do you get love for the achieving self but secretly long to be loved for the non achieving self? Do you wear the mask of the giver? Do you always give of yourself; make yourself valuable, indisposable in order to be loved?

Whatever mask you wear is worn in order to make you appear less vulnerable and garner you more love. The challenge is to take off the mask that you wear and allow yourself to be authentic. Allow yourself to be real in every moment that you find yourself in. Take off your mask and connect at the heart level with other people. I dare you…