When I did a life review, what was amazing to me was that I had no idea who I was. I looked back on my life path and who I was for most of it was someone who followed the rules, did what I was told, and bought into all the messages that I was programmed to believe about myself and the external world. When I woke up at 33 years old and realized this, I had a major identity crisis on my hands. Who was I without my external programming? Who I was, before I realized this, was somebody who based my self esteem on externals versus internals. If I was achieving things then I had more self esteem. I didn’t have a solid sense of self esteem that was built from the inside; rather I relied on accomplishing things in the outside world to build my self esteem up. This created pressure on me from a young age to achieve. This was not always a happy space for me to inhabit but this was how I learned to operate in the world based on my perceptions of my upbringing. My perceptions of my childhood created belief systems that did not serve me in my life; belief systems that necessitated achievement to get my love line. This pattern created a false sense of self esteem that was based on externals which could collapse at any time…
Life Review
To further your state of awareness, I recommend you do a life review. A life review involves looking at the whole of your life, in all its entirety. An ego shattering experience will naturally cause you to reflect on your life, but this is a little more detailed, a little more complex… It is looking at your entire life path from a spiritual vantage point. It is connecting the dots from a different perspective, a perspective laced with your own personal awareness. Note significant events that happened in your life, the ebb and flow of your own personal well being along the way, forks in the road, paths you took or chose not to take, influences that shaped your particular path…Look not only at the path itself but also how far you have come on the path – note your progress to date. It is too easy to look back on a life, your life, and view it through the eyes of a critic. I want you to view your life from the place of your best supporter, your fiercest ally, your most compassionate friend…Spend at least a few hours on this exercise if not an entire weekend and watch the process unfold with almost a detached eye free of any emotional charge – this is viewing your life from a spiritual vantage point…you might see certain themes arise in your life or repeating patterns, if so, take note of them…you are starting to see things from a spiritual perspective and finding out more about yourself in the process…
The Spiritual Side of Healing
As I said, any ego shattering experience is meant to connect you with your awareness. What that means is you are now officially awake and aware of your own personal landscape. You are lost and thus are driven to introspection, contemplation and thus awaken to your awareness. You are so awake that you only wish that you could ignore the glare of your own personal reality. The present moment is all that you are aware of; there is no longer any reason to distract yourself from it. You have officially begun to live a conscious life. You need to find meaning in your life now and it starts with your connection to your awareness. In this lifeline of awareness, in this channel lies so much omniscient wisdom, knowledge, self love, self acceptance, personal power and holiness – this is the light that illuminates your present darkness. This is the light that you must fixate on and align yourself with because this light will herald a new path for you… this is the spiritual path that you are now on… ( this next little section is from the book I am writing called ‘Illness as a Catalyst for Transformation.’)
A new path that will lead you out of the dark forest of your life; a forest that has been long overgrown, crowding you in its constriction. You have no bearings in this forest anymore. This forest is dark, empty, and desolate. You are so busy feeling forsaken in this forest, lost, your eyes cast down, that you don’t realize that in the distance, way off in the distance, there is a tiny pinprick of light. This tiny pinprick of light is almost completely obliterated by the dense overgrowth of trees, but it is there. You don’t realize that if you could put all your courage into this heroic task, put all your eggs in this one tiny basket, that you could begin to leave this dark forest behind, once and for all.
You don’t realize that this pinprick of light, if focused on above anything else, would start to create a path just for you and lead you silently through the darkness. You don’t realize that if you were to follow this pinprick of light and allow it to blind you with its tiny intensity; focus your eyes on it above anything else, you would find this tiny pinprick if followed, would eventually give way to a slightly larger beam of light. This larger beam of light, if focused on, would in turn, lead to a colossal stream of light. This colossal stream of light would lead you to the edge of the forest and would eventually open up into a beautiful, expansive space. In fact, it would lead you into a whole different world that you had no idea existed outside of the forest.
You would then understand that this tiny ray of light is your ticket out of your darkness. That if only you have the courage, to focus on and align yourself with this ray of light, it will illuminate a path for you and lead you out of the dark forest which you have called your life up until this point. You would realize that there is no need for struggle. There is no need for sadness. There is light all around you. You just must ask it to show you the way and trust in the path that you are shown. Allow yourself the possibility to trust in this new path that is unfolding in front of you. Will you allow yourself to drop those beliefs that have up to this point defined you, those beliefs that you have carried like a thick sheet of armor, an inexhaustible burden that you need no longer carry? Will you have the courage to acquire new ones to redefine you in this present moment? Will you allow yourself the freedom to change your course? This is not easy. It is challenging. But holding on to the beliefs that no longer serve you is akin to keeping yourself in shackles.
You can travel no distance without light that is divinely sent by spirit…ask for help from the spiritual realms (God, Universal Consciousness, Buddha, the Holy Spirit, Allah, Source… whatever you want to label it as …knock and the door will be opened…)
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