At the end of the day we are all seeking to love and be loved. That is our one basic primary need. Everything falls a distant second to this. Love is the greatest healing force known to mankind therefore you should seek it out. What do you love to do? Do more of that. Create a love list. On this list will be all the things that you can think of that you love to do. Make a point of doing something that is on your list more consistently. Do one thing every day that you love to do. This ‘doing what you love’ generates positive healing chemicals like endorphins in your body which means a healthier you in the long run. By doing things that you love, you send the message to all the cells in your body that all is well…

People who are critically ill get this message more than most. Their priorities become really clear really quickly. They get that well being is the most important order of the day…their ego is facing the possibility of its demise and the present day moment becomes the only moment they have so they make the most of it…they love what is…a gift in this otherwise challenging circumstance…

Make a daily habit of sending love to yourself. Every night before you go to sleep, when you are lying in bed, send love to each part of your body starting with your toes, traveling up through your body as slowly as you can, acknowledging each little part that you can remember…sending extra love to any area which you feel needs it more than others, spending extra time there, feeling grateful for each body part that you can put a name to and when you have travelled all through your body ending with the top of your head, give thanks to your body for everything it is doing right. Your body is a self healing organism. You will help your self healing along by sending love to your body. Thank it for the incredible job it is doing every day to keep you alive and thriving. Every inch of your body requires love and you can provide this love just with your intention to do so…You are the most loving ally that you have. Flood your body with as much love as you can when ever you think of it. This will help your body heal…

There is a positive side to everything you experience just like there is a negative side.  It is all a matter of your perception. If you can change your perception of events that happen in your life then you are well on your way to a more peaceful  state of being within yourself. I bring this up because everything I experienced in my past served my growth and made me who I am today. All the people that I interacted with along my life path have made me grow in different ways and for that I am grateful. I realize that the belief systems that were created based on my programming led me to suffer at different times in my life. This suffering could have been prevented if I had challenged my belief systems which would have proved them to be faulty. I did not have the awareness then that I have now. Everyone has the right to create belief systems that serve them however you have to see where they originate in the first place.

After I did a life review, I did two key things. Firstly, I identified the one person who was the most influential  on my life path. Secondly,  I identified five key messages that I believed were important to follow based on this person’s influence. (I go into detail in my book that I am currently finishing with regards to this process so I won’t spend time on the details now.)The reason I bring this up is so you can see how programming occurs. I was programmed by other people’s beliefs that were close to me when I was growing up. Their opinion mattered a great deal to me and they had a successful life path so naturally I assumed that their advice was golden. I examined the five messages and then came up with beliefs that I had created based on these messages. These beliefs became my truth which was not necessarily a bad thing at the time. This led me to a life path that was reasonable and safe. But was it really me? Only separating yourself out from your programming will begin to shed light on this whole issue.

I looked at the messages and then the beliefs that I had created based on the messages. I asked myself whether having these belief systems served to increase peace and well being within my spirit or did they do the opposite? Many times they did the opposite so I started to look for myself in the midst of my programming. I started to examine my belief systems and create new belief systems in my life that would afford me the most freedom. I wanted to emerge from my self imposed box whose parameters were defined by my programming. I found more peace and well being within myself when I observed how many of my belief systems were too limited and thus limited my overall potential for happiness.

I realized that just because I perceived that I came from a family with a limited world view did not mean that I had to keep the limited world view as my operating system. They were likely a product of their own family programming; the cycle keeps repeating when there is no need to question it. There are positives and negatives to programming – if you are happy in your life,  with your life, then there will be no need to question your programming.  I needed to develop my own identity free of my programming and this was the process by which I would do this…

When I realized that my self esteem largely came from externals and was based on what I was achieving, I decided to spend time doing nothing. I wanted to see if I could handle the space of doing nothing. I wondered what that would bring up for me. Would I be a neurotic mess or would my compulsive nature take over in an effort to preserve my perceived sanity? I decided to stop being busy, stop doing and instead listen for the silence… listen for that tranquil pool that existed deep inside of me. In that silence, I would find a peace that I had not known before. Who was I when I separated myself out from my programming? I was someone that was, more or less, at peace. I wasn’t at peace in the beginning. I had to first get used to the space of being versus doing.  After a time, I was surprisingly serene. I stopped listening to the voices that were telling me to do more, be more, achieve more… For a time, this silence caused me significant anxiety. Voices would fill the void of silence. I would hear voices inside my head shouting ‘Go for a run. You are lazy’ or ‘Get busy. You are not accomplishing anything.’ I would see the whip of self flaggellation hanging on the inner walls of my cranium, eager with the anticipation of being put to use. In reality, I wanted that whip to be put to permanent rest. I wanted to see how accepting I could be of myself existing in a passive space.  For instance, I really wanted to be okay with just walking. Why couldn’t I allow myself to walk? Why did I feel that I had to be pushing myself so hard all the time? I wanted to see how it felt to just walk and contemplate and observe the beauty around me. I wanted to be receptive, to be in the feminine aspect of me versus the masculine aspect of me. How good it felt to be receptive! To allow versus actively seek. To soften into the passive space within me…I wanted to open myself up like a hollow flute and see what music would flow through me on its own accord with no evidence of my prior conditioning…