I just got back from an amazing weekend spent with my birth family. I learned more about family love and how big that container actually is to hold each member up as individuated essences of divinity. My older brother Ralph (by 3 years) was adopted at the age of 1 and 1/2 by my birth family. I learned this weekend, that my mother saw him on t.v. and God whispered to her to adopt this little boy, when she saw the monitor of his picture, with a plea for intervention on his behalf. My mother then went to my father with her plea, he said okay, and they started the process of adopting him into my family. They had no idea of what they were getting into.

My brother’s background is of Aboriginal descent. His mother was Scottish, Irish Cree and his father was French Metis. My brother was adopted into a white family (Norwegian heritage). His journey has not been an easy one and we learned more about that challenge this weekend. My dad was a successful specialist and had a lot on his plate when we were all growing up. When Ralph was acting out for the majority of his childhood, he created a fair amount of challenge for my parents who were trying to raise him.

Growing up so different than everyone around him was tough and it showed; Ralph got in trouble repeatedly with authority and was kicked out of high school. He abused drugs and alcohol and even flirted with suicide at one point in his life. His first wife left him but he has a beautiful son that came out of that marriage. He has since remarried a beautifully, supportive woman and is happier and more content than I have ever seen him.

Because Ralph went off the path substantially for many years, when our family heard about this weekend and how he was invited to speak in Seattle, we were mainly just excited to see him, support him and see what he had to say. My Dad was a little nervous because he did not know what my brother was going to say, especially in a church; after all he had never spoken in his life, other than speaking up like a smart ass in his high school classes. But he made a choice to come which demonstrates my dad’s ability to forgive and forget and keep an open mind and be open to healing any residual stuff from their relationship.

Ralph was invited by a former classmate, Peter, to speak at his church in Tacoma (outside of Seattle) on Native American spirituality. He has spoken to some other churches with the same real and beautiful message around his own redemption and healing; not all churches have been okay with his message because it might be too raw for them but that did not stop Peter from believing in him enough to have him come to his church. Little did we know how much Ralph would teach us about unconditional love, embracing your roots, and being proud of your heritage.

My brother’s life as a teenager was fraught with much frustration over the white worlds way of learning and his native way of seeing the world. He led a two hour seminar on the Saturday, going into these differences in more detail and expressing what a challenge it is for Aboriginals to be in the traditional school setting.( Aboriginals have a suicide risk ten times the level of the national average. ) Natives brains are wired differently- they tend to be more artistic. I recall my brother spending hours drawing action figures at our kitchen table when we were growing up. He had a gift for art- more right brained than left brained. He talked about spirituality being a way of life for many Aboriginals and that being in the White world of materialism and competitive hierarchy as being so far away from his native heritage.

In the native world, it is all about community and you think with the view, how can I help the community versus how can I help myself? Indian time is so much different than linear time and schedules that we must follow in the western world view. He talked about meeting the Aboriginal population with an open heart and learning from them, going to sweat lodges and pow-wows to see their experience of the great spirit and reconnecting to his own heritage as a means to feel whole again. I learned a lot about my brother in this two hour seminar and a lot about his heritage that I never knew. I saw my brother through an entirely different lens. I was super grateful to my brother when I was growing up because of his lightness (think Will Smith) but I had never seen the rich depth of his character that was evident this weekend.

My brother grew up with a lot of charisma. He has the personality that we all wish we had inherited but was largely amiss in our Norwegian gene pool (sorry Dad for the joke!).  He has a great sense of humor and has a gift of story -telling. He is animated in his expression and has lived a very full life with lots of experiences. He is memorable on a first meeting.

When he got in front of the church this weekend with his tattoos, one large, visible on his face and the others on his arms, it was obvious that this was not their typical guest speaker. But when Ralph opened his mouth and started talking from his heart there was not a dry eye in the house by the time he was done. He owned who he was in all his painful nakedness at the pulpit in such a way that we could all relate to. He shared his humanity, his heartbreak, his feelings of being lost and now found, and his message of being met with love wherever you are; that God’s love is unconditional, no matter how broken you are, that the well of love is there for you to drink from always and that it never goes away. He commanded the stage with such presence that we all, including my Dad were beaming with pride. He was born to bring his message of spirituality to his Aboriginal people and any church that has an open mind.

His message ultimately was about how we are all connected in our humanity and that no matter how broken you feel there is always the power of redemption and healing, if you are willing to trust that there is love and healing out there for you, it will find you. Nothing is beyond healing and love is the greatest healing force in the universe. You are loved no matter who you are, what you have done, acceptance of you in the moment, is all you need to heal in the presence of God’s love or the Great Spirit’s love. All of my family members sat in the pews, literally weeping, watching our brother heal us with unconditional love and acceptance- the circle comes to a path of completion with love being the bridge- who would ever have predicted this moment in time. We are all so blessed!! XOXOXOXO

 

With the winter onset of cold and flu season, how can one best build up immunity and survive the onslaught of all the little critters that are in the air and on the surfaces around us. The first important thing is the obvious- wash your hands frequently (you must wash your hands with warm soap and water for 20 seconds to be effective)- hand sanitizers also work but must contain at least 60% alcohol to be effective. Get enough sleep. Getting at least 6.5 hours of sleep is the goal. This amount of sleep will allow your body to do internal house cleaning; during sleep, the immune system has time to do surveillance and clean up the internal environment. That way when a microbe comes along it is ready to efficiently eradicate it.

Nutrition is key to strengthen immunity in the winter. If you have a strong interior defense (built by eating well) you will not be as susceptible to getting sick in the first place. Fruits and vegetable high in beta-carotenes (think orange- yams, pumpkin, squash, sweet potatoes, carrots) act as powerful antioxidants that improve immune function (cell-mediated immunity) and support mucous membrane health. Foods high in zinc such as oysters, pecans, egg yolks and lamb have an important role in cell growth- everything from normal development to wound healing to white blood cell production. Zinc can be depleted from diuretic use, alcohol, chronic stress, or copper excess. An over the counter zinc tally test can tell you if you might be deficient in zinc. Vitamin C is the other nutrient needed to produce and activate white blood cells; it makes them more efficient in the bloodstream. Sources of Vitamin C include bell peppers, broccoli, kiwis, oranges, and strawberries to name a few. Other foods helpful for optimal immunity include oats and barley due to their beta-glucan content, shitake mushrooms and chicken soup. Lastly, add spices- fresh garlic and ginger root will help you ward off bugs; other herbs that have antibiotic like action include fresh cilantro, oregano and basil.

Don’t forget to move your body. Exercise is important because it helps the white blood cells move through your bloodstream and lymphatic system. If the white blood cells are circulating more freely, they are more likely to target a microbe and destroy it. Even 30 minutes of brisk walking is enough as long as you work up a little bit of a sweat; higher temperatures help inhibit germs. Even taking time for a steam post exercise will add more benefit. Don’t exercise if you have a fever though- listen to your body!

Lastly do not forget about good bacteria. The more good bacteria you have in your body, the less other bad bacteria can take a foot hold in your system. They crowd them out. Food sources of good bacteria include yogurt with active/live cultures, miso, raw sauerkraut (check out the Light Cellar in Bowness for the best), tempeh, kim chee, and kefir. Let food be your medicine!

If you need additional help with your immune system, don’t hesitate to make an appointment with me. There are some fabulous herbs and homeopathic medicines that help ward off cold and flu and clear an infection if contracted, quickly. These medicines are best taken at the first sign of infection- if you wait to long, then the infection has a chance to take hold. Until next time, think happy thoughts- optimists have stronger immune systems than pessimists.

 

For some reason, the death of Cory Monteith has really affected me. I am almost embarassed to admit this. First of all, I have watched Glee only one time because my sister who is a big fan of the show raves about it. But after the news report of his death and my sister’s grief because of this incident, I watched a short video of a television interview with him post- Glee fame and pre-death, ironically enough. I was taken by his story because he did have a history of addictions but had had his life radically turn around in a positive direction; he started channeling his life force into a life sustaining direction, a powerful one at that>> then this accidental overdose >> how tragic. I think this story touched me so much because I had my own issues with addiction when I was young. When I was younger, I had an eating disorder. Looking back on that time in my life, I realize that my anorexia was a way to manage my anxiety. I didn’t realize that I had anxiety back then but in fact now looking back I realize this about myself. My addiction at that time in my life helped me manage my anxiety being in high school at that time and dealing with a lot of social pressures.  Although I don’t know a lot about addictions, I can safely assume that we all have our own addictions that help us get through our day, might be a daily latte, a massage, addiction to technology, etc.; I assume our own addictions would not make headline news but they could. No one is immune to addictions. I feel that addictive patterns of behavior whether it be eating foods that you know are not good for you or that sabotage your ability to become healthier, addiction to toxic relationships, toxic emotions or patterns of behavior that really don’t serve your highest good are an effective albeit unconconscious way to manage something whether it be anxiety, feelings of inadequacy or whatever it may be that the addiction in facts gets rid of in the moment. The addiction serves you in the moment. The brilliant Caroline Myss says it best, ‘addictions are, in effect, a choice to remain unconscious in an age rapidly moving towards a new paradigm of consciousness’. We are all in a grand state of awakening to our divine selves. I am very conscious of how I am living my life but I am not perfect- I am very aware of when I don’t feel congruent about something because I can feel it in my gut- but that doesn’t always stop me from making a choice to indulge. As we awaken, it is harder to tolerate things that aren’t congruent with our internal state of being; our authentic selves; it becomes intolerable to our spirit. It is too bad that Cory wasn’t able to have his experience of awakening sustain him when that urge to go unconscious crept over him; so sad that this took his life. I think the message to ask ourselves is where do we have addictive behaviors that interfere with our ability to shine our brightest light and what needs to be healed so we can embrace our authentic divinity? What factors help you stay connected to your divine core and how can you bring those factors into your life on a regular basis so you feel supported when you are having an ‘off’ day or desire to indulge in your own secret addiction? Nature, meditation, conscious breathing, music, prayer, whatever feeds your soul, make time for it…and ask for help if you are feeling weak and vulnerable because we all have our human moments and we need to share in our divine humanity- we are all one…namaste.