This journey of personal healing never ends…In my quest to heal every aspect of my life, what has been coming up for me is yet more old beliefs that need to be let go of. Every time that I think that I have excavated my inner landscape ad nauseum…I unearth more old beliefs. I was having a bath the other night thinking about my childhood and all of a sudden, an old belief surfaced. The belief was ‘no matter what I do, it is wrong.’ I clearly saw that this belief still operates in my life; in fact, it operates in many different corners of my life. I have trouble making decisions in my life… no wonder, if this belief lurks in the depths of my subconscious…I make a decision and then think that I made the wrong decision. I often reverse my decisions. I can see why I do this now! ‘No matter what I do, it is wrong.’ I have flashbacks of staying in relationships that were far past their expiration date yet having a heck of a time leaving them. ‘No matter what I do, it is wrong.’ Unearthing this old belief explains a lot…
I see this belief in my working life. If I have an idea that comes from the place of inspiration and I know it, I am still flooded by doubts when commiting to the idea and carrying it through to completion. When I am focused on my working life, I never feel sure that the path that I am on is the right one. ‘No matter what I do, it is wrong.’ I see a carbon copy of this belief in every aspect of my life. This belief immobilizes me and takes me far away from my knowingness; my intuitive connection to my higher consciousness so thank God it came forward to me so I could work on healing it. Even recognizing it is a major a-ha. Can I trace this belief back to my childhood? I expect so but I can’t be sure of when it started. My mom told me that when I was playing in a soccer game when I was in grade 5 the ball hit my leg and went into my own team’s net. I was so ashamed believing that it was my fault that I left the game and ran all the way home. I lived 3 miles from school to put things into perspective. I was trying my best in the soccer game…maybe this was where my belief was created ‘no matter what I do, it is wrong.’ I think it probably started before I was consciously aware of it. The point is to acknowledge these old beliefs, make them conscious and create new beliefs that are empowering so you can move forward in your life. A new empowering belief might be, ‘no matter what I choose to do, I am worthy of love and acceptance.’ The young child that learned the belief ‘no matter what I do, it is wrong’ that caused her suffering is an adult now and capable of creating beliefs that are healing to her mind, body, and soul.