The emotional side of personal healing is one near and dear to my heart.Growing up sensitive and expressing my sensitivity in a self destructive way as a teenager (anorexia) was not the optimal way for me to cope with my emotional side. I have come a long ways since then but I still am extremely sensitive so therefore need tools to help me navigate the challenging spaces of my own personal reality. One of my light bulb moments was when I read about the need to be emotionally independent. Looking back on my life path, I realized that much of my challenges that arose were largely self inflicted because I was emotionally dependent. I was emotionally dependent on other people to make me feel like I was okay. I made them (being the outside world) responsible for my well being. If they treated me well, I would be happy and in harmony. If they treated me less than well, I would immediately blame myself and wonder what I had done to affect their emotional state. As long as my external environment was harmonious I was fine. How realistic is it for your external environment to always be harmonious? Not very! I needed to make my internal environment harmonious to me and stop needing my external environment to make things okay inside myself. This is emotional independence. This is knowing that you alone are responsible for your own well being. No one else can give this to you. This allows you the freedom to let go of needing to make everybody else around you happy; because guess what, you can’t do that! You are not responsible for their well being. They are responsible for that. When I learned this, my whole spirit became lighter. I didn’t have to carry the burdens of everyone else who was less than happy and make me responsible for their well being. This is liberation! So when you are feeling emotionally troubled about something in your life, ask yourself if your emotional state is arising because of something that someone did in your external world. Are they making you unhappy? Did a light bulb go on? When people challenge you, emotionally speaking, it is your perfect opportunity to claim emotional independence; make yourself responsible for how good you feel in each moment. Learning how to be emotionally independent would have saved me years of psychotherapy when I was younger! So, claim your own emotional independence from now on. I challenge you to do this in your own life! You will become a much happier individual moving forward. More on emotional healing next time…
The Mental Side of Personal Healing
I wanted to comment more on the mental side of healing. You are only as strong as your beliefs. You need to have belief systems which will maximize your ability to heal on the mental realm. What do you believe about your ability to heal? You must be unwavering in your belief to heal from anything. People will try to convince you of your reality…’the statistics say this about your disease’. Stay firmly convinced of your ability to heal from anything. Healing does not always mean curing but if you are focused on your own personal healing a greater capacity for peace, happiness, self acceptance and love will naturally abound; and this in turn can greatly improve your health. Examples of belief systems that are supportive of healing: I am healing every day. People defy statistics. My mind is a great ally in my ability to heal. These are belief systems that support your healing. Limiting belief systems would be: The prognosis is not good. I will never get better. My mind is my own worst enemy.
Focus on what you want. Choose belief systems that are supportive of your healing. You might consider writing down positive affirmations supporting your ability to heal. I am strong and stable. I have consistent energy. My primary senses are functioning at their optimum capacity. No matter what you are experiencing in this moment, write down what you are wanting to experience in this moment. Write a positive statement as to what you are wanting to achieve. You might want to write these affirmations in big bold letters and post them on a wall in your house. The more you see these positive statements affirming what you want, the more they will imprint on your subconcious mind and that in turn will help in your healing.
Mind/Body medicine can help you strengthen the capacity of your mental healing. If you enlist the mind to help you heal, it can in turn affect your body. I mentioned meditation as an incredibly important tool to enhance self awareness and centredness, other tools to help you include guided imagery. Guided imagery uses the senses to enhance your visualizations. Using your senses to enhance a visualization will facilitate deeper healing and facilitate self transformation. A simple imagery exercise to reduce stress involves picking a happy memory from your life history that you love and then remembering it in vivid detail to create the feelings that memory brought up for you at that time. For example, I did mind/body training in California four years ago in the month of February. The conference was at a beautiful hotel in Northern California (Berkeley). We would meet during the day to attend the conference and then at night we would have free time. One night in particular it was lightly raining and I decided that I would go swimming. It was a warm rain so I decided I would swim in the outdoor pool. It was about 8 pm so the pool area was a bit dark apart from the lights around the pool that illuminated the circumference.There was noone swimming that night but me. I started swimming laps and I remember how peaceful that night was and how absolutely content I felt to be swimming solo. I conjure up this memory whenever I want to feel those same feelings in this present moment. I recall the feel of the water on my skin, I recall the feeling of the rain falling on my body as I swam laps; I recall the steam rising from the pool drifting into the night. It was such a magical night. I remembered how the air felt and the taste of salt on my lips as I swam. I recall the sounds that night; because of the proximity of the airport, there were airplanes passing overheard. I remember seeing the lights of the airplanes out of the corner of my eye when I would lift my head to breathe. When I was finished my laps, I got out of the pool and went indoors to the clubhouse where I had a restorative sauna and steam. I was thoroughly relaxed and happy that night. I bring this memory back to life from time to time when I want to feel happy, peaceful and content. I can cause the same healing chemicals in my body just by remembering that night in vivid detail. The recollection of that memory then has a healing effect on my body. You can do this too; bring up a memory from your past that gives you well being. Try to remember it in vivid detail; bring it more alive by enlisting your senses. Try to remember how it felt (touch), the aromas (smell), the sights (vision), the sounds (hearing) and the tastes if possible. This will enrich the visualization and this maximizes the process of guided imagery. Until next time, visualize yourself in perfect health…
The mental side of healing
The mental side of healing for me always posed the most challenge. This is because my mental head game was for many years my worst enemy. I was an athlete growing up and when I was playing field hockey in higher level matches I would be terrified. I wouldn’t think how exciting this is to be in the CIAU final playing field hockey. Rather my thought was I hope I don’t screw up the biggest match of my life. I didn’t expect to play well or get excited about the chance to showcase my skills. I took a fearful stance rather than an empowered stance. I often think one of the reasons why I did not make the national team was that I did not have the mental toughness needed to excel at the highest level. That was the truth back then but I have worked on my head space in the game of life for the past ten years conciously speaking. My experience with illness demanded this of me. The most important thing in my life became my head space and my head space would soon become my greatest asset. But this didn’t happen overnight. I had to work at it and my health necessitated it. I needed to expect that I could be well consistently. I had a positive expectation of being well. Even when I was challenged I would maintain my positive momentum knowing my health would soon be restored. This became my norm – an optimistic head space despite the occasional setback.
The first part of healing the mental is being mindful of your thoughts. Be aware of your thoughts. Be aware of when your thoughts are health supportive and be aware of when they are health negating. You must be extremely vigilant when you are on the journey of personal healing. If you catch yourself thinking about what you don’t want, correct your thoughts in that moment and think what is it that I do want. The teachings of Abraham taught me that. You must bring yourself back to where you want to be in every moment. The mind requires discipline of the highest order. That is why learning to meditate is a must. The mind will swing like a monkey from tree to tree until it is disciplined. How you meditate is up to you. Some people choose exercise as a medititation; others choose breathing exercises(Dr. Andrew Weil has good tapes on breathing exercises); others do yoga. Some people do better in a group meditation class. Find whatever works for you and then set up a consistent practice so you hold yourself accountable. Being disciplined enough to meditate daily allows you to stay centered no matter what winds are blowing. In today’s world, it is easy to be blown off course. If you have a daily spiritual practice that you do daily, you establish a healthy routine of centredness. Soon this becomes your norm – you are becoming mentally tough and you love how it feels to hold your center, to have your life based on internals versus externals. This is spirit centered living people. More on the mental side of healing soon…
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