So when you have this ego shattering experience and feel like you have hit rock bottom, what do you do? You don’t really do anything. Rather you remain open…open to spirit…open to whatever information wants to come forward to you… I spent two years after I was diagnosed with MS in contemplation. This meant I did not do anything. I got quiet within myself. I walked a lot without any companions. I spent time in reflection. I spent time alone with my spirit trying to make sense of my circumstances…That is all I did… I wanted help and I asked for help from the spiritual realms… I probed the interior of my being; I wanted to make sense of the diagnosis and know why it had shown up in my life. I looked over my life and pondered the path I had taken in depth… I evaluated my level of happiness and how it had varied at different points all along my life path and wondered why that was… I looked at key decisions that I had made along the way. I then probed a little deeper… looking for the reasons behind the decisions that I had made. I looked at forks in the road, relationships I had entered into, matters of significance, triumphs, failures, choices I had made, errors in judgement, personal setbacks, regrets, blessings, opportunities, loves lost and loves gained. I looked at the simple tableau that I had written now seemingly enshrouded in darkness…
By the end of the two year span, I began to see little pockets of light illuminating small pieces of the tableau. I began to have some small insights as to why this illness had made its presence known in my life. It was a gift and it was meant to wake me up. These ego shattering experiences are always a gift even though you may not see it that way for quite some time…First you have to deal with the shattered pieces and there is often a significant amount of grief involved regarding these pieces. You are like a plate that has been shattered and your objective is to now painstakingly piece the plate back together. However it takes time to reassemble the plate and now that you have been shattered you will never be the same plate from this day forward…Any ego shattering experience that shows up is without a doubt meant to connect you with your awareness – nothing more, nothing less – but connecting you to your awareness is the first step needed before you begin to reassemble the plate that now represents your life in this very moment…you need time to process this event thus the need for reflection and contemplation…
Hugh Culver says
Rob, it’s a shame more of us don’t take time for ourselves while we are healthy. Maybe you should find a way to help the healthy as well!